Other survivors Nikki are the only ones who completely understand. That's why I'm such a believer in a good support group...I'm a "hugger"...can't help it but you wouldn't believe the reactions I get from someone who is in agony over their loss. I cannot, will not, get graphic on this public forum but you can't tell me anything more graphic than what I've already heard from people who have collapsed in my arms.

This morning I had a dr.apt with a new dr. and while checking out the woman was trying to schedule me another apt for therapy..she wanted to schedule me for Monday and I said no, I had a suicide support meeting and her face dissolved..."My mother killed herself" she said " and now, years later my young daughters want me to tell them why."

Either it's everywhere or I'm like a magnet..(remember the washer repair man on my pantry floor.)

You can email or pm me anything Nikki but it's not the same as being able to grab ahold and hang on to a real life person. I do understand..I'm so very sorry you are having to go through this with no one to talk to about it.