Between Dad and Lynn I do often feel "as though another tiny increment of pain will drive me mad."
~sigh.... I know you are right ((Alffe)) Yet, I wonder if these things are best left protected and hidden inside. I think about how far I have come in my healing, at times it seems I am going in vicious circles, but I do know I am starting to heal. Would re-visiting that day "in the open" make me better, or worse? I don't really know. I know it sounds cowardly, but I am not sure I am willing to take that particular risk......
I can't pretend it isn't effecting me, the nightmares and my throwing up every time it snows is a constant reminder. Yet it isn't like it was last year, I am getting better....there are many days I don't have those images stuck in my head.
Lately, I can vividly recall his handsome face and can even hear the echos of his contagious laughter.
Among the nightmares, dreams of us, our family gatherings and dancing yellow butterflies are also starting to fill my nights
.................................................. ....
Quote:
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Either it's everywhere or I'm like a magnet.
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It
is everywhere... but you are also a magnet, because you DO talk about it. Without fail,
every single person I have told about Dad has had a story of their own... of someone they knew who killed themselves or of "the dark period in their life" when they thought about it.
The world needs more magnets like you