LW,
So, you're going to be 20 soon! Congratulations!
Many years from now, you will realize how young you are, AND how mature. (Look at your friends, like Allen said something like: if they want to terrorize you, USE them! Don't absorb what they say, reflect it. (If it's ugly). Take it to heart, only if it's kind.

It seems to me that you don't have a good doctor, who's familiar with RSD.
Keep Looking! Get Super ProActive!
(I've never heard of RSD stopping your respiration, but, I know that lots of the meds we take can do that). I'm NOT saying it's not possible...

A few months ago, I found myself really almost willing to just end it all. But, that's no way out. As has been pointed out, the pain may go with you, (it's not staying here!), and it may just be worse! It's a selfish, and cowardly act. How would your Mother react? What would that do to just One Person, whom has already been through hell?

Lord, sir, you need to concentrate on something, or someone other than yourself. One reason, Someone Always Has It Worse! Always! Another, you can't keep looking into that "Mirror of Despair". How much better it feels to smile, than to frown! All you need do, is take it moment by moment. Then grow that into a day at a time.

Why would you think, that all of us here are "married and fine"???
You haven't been reading, methinks! Let me give you a bit of advice that comes from many years of public service and building and running two business's, (then losing it all). If you "Present yourself" as down and out, you WILL get your dose of "woe is you" and some pets on the head. If you turn that around from time to time, and reach out to others, to find out what goes on in their lives (here, by PM's), you'll find that You're not the only one who's suffering! It's important to do that, so that you can be "centered, in reality", and not constantly thinking, that you have it worse than anyone. You don't.


I have full body RSD and TOS, since 1983. I was T-Boned by a Tractor Trailer. 7+ years for a diagnoses from Dr. S. A few more years until some relief, then;
That caused my first wife to leave, I had two young children to raise, through school. (She didn't want to be married to a drug addict, since I was put on methadone).

In '98, I blew my mind out in a car, she hadn't noticed that the sign said stop.
(Pardon the "Beatles" reference.)
"Cranially Constipated".
TBI, subdural hematoma, discs in neck and low back. Often, I simply can't walk. Sleep Apnea, and a slew of other things, including post traumatic epilepsy, migraine, tran/somnia, etc.
I was in kind of a sleeping state for several years, while wife #2 emptied the bank acc'ts she could, and made off with at least half a mil. and, is now getting very closing to taking MY house! Children don't speak to me, because they warned me about her. I was too "brain dead" to listen.
Can you imagine having the children you raised, not speak to you for more than 5 years, but worse, to have let them down?

Yes, the RSD pain suks, my pain goes much farther than that, on a physical and mental basis. Other than that, there is practically nothing wrong with me physically @ 53 years.

LW,
maybe you can tell us what cocktail of meds you're on?
So, that we can make this a more fulfilling conversation, along with other things that go on in your life, and lifestyle?
We really do want to help.
We've got to help you get your life and care by the horns, so that you can have a more fulfilling life. It makes a huge difference!
Frankly, I don't understand if you're on meds, or not, seeing a doctor or not...

Please, let us in, to help you?
Only you can do it.
You have the invitation!

Hope we can talk soon, Pal!

love,
Pete

asb