danall,

I have some tips for your wife. First, she needs to understand what your limits are. One of the big ones is the inability to be flexible with thoughts. Rigid thoughts can prevent you from coming up with the creativity to do the tasks that she has asked you to do.

She needs to give you simple instructions. Each statement should only address one simple activity.

Something like:
Load the dishwasher with the plates in bottom and glasses on top.

Load the plates in the bottom of the dishwasher.
Load the glasses on the top of the dishwasher.

She may think this sounds juvenile but I bet you know what I mean. You may not have come to an understanding of this need. But now that I have mentioned it, you understand.

I went to brain injury rehab last month. My wife complained about my kitchen behaviors. She has complained to me generically before but I have not responded correctly.

At rehab, she complained and was asked about specifics. She said, "He leaves cinnamon in the sink after making toast."

Now, I had a very simple task to address. I rinse the cinnamon out of the sink after making toast.

She needs to understand these simple needs you have. Also, she needs to write things down. Your brain is easily distracted so follow through may be difficult.

I can not process multiple step commands nor complex sentences. I get lost trying to link them together.

The key to living with a brain injury is getting everybody to the same level of understanding. You can still do many things, just not in the same way you used to do them.

You probably have much better capabilities at communicating to others that you can receive communication from them. This is often a big conflict. They hear what you can say and think nothing much is wrong.

I have had big problems in this area. My skills at the computer make it appear that I am fine. I use the computer screen as my short term memory. I can look back at what I typed and continue the thought.

I can easily get stuck trying to remember what I was saying when I talk out loud unless I have rehearsed my comments.

Hope these ideas will help you.