I went to see the gynecologist for the first time in five years on Friday. Prior to those five years I went regularly.

BTW, I'm posting this here because this where my nt buddies hang out .

I've been having irregular periods for a while now along with hot flashes, I'm 43 so it's par for the course
The last couple of times "with" my dh I've had bleeding. I thought it was just my irregular period again. Then the pelvic pain started. This is something I've had off an on over the past 20 years. My doctor could never find anything wrong. This time it's felt different than in the past.

I'm sorry if this is too graphic but I don't know how to explain it.

At my appointment on Friday I told the doctor all of this and more. When she did my pap test, I was in a ton of pain and started bleeding immediately. She said my cervix was very tender and that was where the pain was coming from. She drew a bunch of blood (I won't have the results for at least 10 days), I have a pelvic ultrasound on Tuesday. She asked if I could have an std and I said only if it came from my dh (god forbid). When I went out in the hall I heard her mention my name to the nurse along with cervical cancer. She didn't realize I was in the hall. I didn't say anything to her about it. I know she can't possibly know anything for sure yet.

I am really scared. Naturally I came home and started researching online because I just can't help myself, ya know? I'm trying to stay optimistic but it's tough.

I guess I just need somebody to tell me to calm down. . If you know my family history from the last few years you probably understand where my paranoia comes from . I can't seem to get a month without some kind of health drama. If you're still reading this, thanks for listening.