Hi everyone,

I am sooo very sorry for all of this pain that I feel coming through to me like a ton of bricks on this site. I sooo feel what you are talking about and it kills me to see that SSA doesn't see it. I wonder what happens when it one of them or their families get sick (I mean no harm), it's not their fault, it's the system and the politics and those who play that game!

Anyway, I am here today because this site is amazing, filled with loads of information. I decided that this seems a good place to start with my questions. I don't feel like wasting my time with asking lawyers that you call for free advice; all it seems is that they want your money or ask you "what's going on with your case?" and still don't know the answer (or they won't tell you). Okay, enough mumbling - I love to write. It's that and my love for my higher power that's kept me going.

I am writing because my case was sent to SSDI by my case worker with the helps of my mental health facility (psychologist's office/psychiatrist). The paperwork was filled out, 3rd party completed although I didn't have the strength at the time to fill out my remarks. I was in tremendous pain and depression. Anyway, this is all due to the fact that I was run over by my own car trying to save another person's life by jumping into the car (1989 Mercedes Benz 300SE) and the force was too much for my little 5' 5" frame, about 125 pounds. I tried to put my foot on the brake and luckily the passenger door was still open and I held on all the while being dragged downhill 25 to 35 feet on my back underneath the bottom of the door and the gravel ground. I let go right before I was to be smashed in between the door and my neighbors house in front of mine; if I had not I most surely would have either bitten the bullet or been seriously injured. Which I would up being anyway but didn't know it until later. Anyway, the right back tire grabbed my foot and ran over my upper portion of my body, while my back and lower portion of my body was being smashed and run over under the car. I didn't feel a thing! I believe I blacked out. I just remember getting up and saying "is everyone allright?". I remember getting into the ambulance and feeling happy that I was alive. All my vitals were fine! They said no broken bones, nothing was wrong. The next day however, I was in severe pain and went to my doctor for follow-up. The hospital said I was fine and there was no need to do an MRI. I was like, I don't care, just get me home to my kids. I wasn't thinking. And my friend who was with me, didn't demand it, so on my medical records, I don't think it read as if I was a trauma patient because I wasn't dying! And I didn't feel any pain, so they just said you are really blessed and sent me home. I thought that was wrong and that they should have kept me overnight for observation. It turns out I had a concussion. I also ha a leg injury, left knee and foot. Some abrasions. Also, my back was killing me. So was my entire body. However, I was alive.

As the months progressed, so did my pain. So did my problems. Left knee swelled constantly. Pain, pain, pain! All over, and at 41 years old, I watched my life go down the tubes. At this point, I have no job (attempted to at least six times), am homeless with a daughter who has Asberger's Syndrome, a severely asthmatic son and a mom (me) who can barely take care of them. Even though my son is 17, all he has is me. His dad never comes to take him anywhere, except for an occassional haircut. And my daughter, her beuaiful soul has kept me going. I lived with my ex husband u ntil last September but I could not take him anymore because he expected me to take care of him and refused to take me to the doctor and when he did, he was inpatient and a jerk! Anyway, I don't want to harp on that, but I had hardly any support and my depression got worse (which I have a long history with, that anxiety, PTSD, Bi-Polar Disorder, Panic Attacks and a heart arrythmia). All of this is well documented and shown that I went to the doctor for physical therapy 3x per week at times when I felt well and when I didn't, I went at least once a month to the doctor for five years at least. At least seven docs, both mental and physical sent their records in, and my PCP sent his in with an actual letter stating why I couldn't work (knee gives way, can't walk without assistance of a cane, walker, knee brace or combination). I have severe spinal trauma which was just MRI'd in June '08(non-contrast) and contrast MRI in October, '08. It showed the following:

L4-5 3mm broad based disc buldge with midline annular tear. There is mild faccet arthropathy and thickening of the ligamentum flavum (whatever that is) and mild bilteral lateral recess narrowing.
L5-S1, there is 2mm broad based disc bulge and mild facet arthropathy and disc desiccation (disc disease/degenerative) which I failed to list on my case. Minimal narrowing of the lateral recess is seen.
Note is made of equivocal L-5 pars defect. Further CT scan needed.
Spinal femonil stenosis is on the MRI without contrast along with other stuff like it.
C-4 Mild signal loss (before MRI)

They failed to look at the rest of my back during the contrast MRI, even though I complained of middle and upper back pain as well as neck and shoulder pain. Oh, well. I didn't put that in my list of impairments, however, it was sent with the doctors notes. And, it was included with the doctors when I went to see the states doc's. I saw a psych doc who said "I hope you feel better and the physician who said, I am so sorry this happened to you. He checked my legs and I had no reflexes. He looked perturbed and checked it three times. He stopped and said, I'm finished here. This poor woman; this is a legitimate case. He gave me an EKG and let me go. I cried. Me, too. Because my life has been downhill since the accident. As if it wasn't before, but at least I could work. And work I did. I have enough credits to share some. I would if I could.

Anyway, now, to the case. It was sent to Quality Review on August 25, 2009. My anaylyst told me to call her on 2 weeks, today. I did. She told me to call my worker and gave me her phone number. I couldn't get a hold of her but, I knew something had changed when I called the 800 #. First, when I gave my address, the woman asked me for the mailing address this time. Never before had they done that. She also told me to be patient, give them 2-3 weeks and I'd have my answer in writing because she couldn't relay anythng by phone. She also said that it was "in development". All of this could mean nothing, but it could mean something, too. I'm going to look at it like it does. For it to go to QRB, it was approved. Hopefully, they agreed. It's at the local office now. And to me, if it was not approved, why send it to the local office. Why not just send me a letter from there? I guess whether it's approved of disapproved, it winds up at the local office. The local office has to do all of their footwork, I think, like if it's approved, look into how much the award will be, etc. Why would it take 2-3 weeks to send me a disapproval letter. I was told that the case is finished now. No one else needs to approve or disapprove it. I know, I have many questions, but I'm just wondering????

I just want to know, how do you think this sounds? What is your opinion? I am not going to stick it to you if it's not favorable because I know how these things work, don't worry. I just want to know if I'm feeling what you guys are. And you all seem to be okay to me!

Anyway, I don't know what else they need to approve this case. I am in chronic pain, treated with meds and anti-depressants. This accident has took me for a loop and then some. It has not gotten better and although I had appointments with the ortho doc before, I couldn't make it because I was ill. So, my next one is guess what, in February, next year!. Because of the type of insurance I have.

Well, now that my book is written, I'm signing off. I hope you can help and God bless you! Any answers would be great! Thank you

SickNTired