I have to say, this was one of the most moving posts I've read in a long time.

I am one of those awkward people, who become so emotional inside that I sometimes don't know how to verbalize things or respond.

So I went and found your Lily online and made an avatar sized one for you too. You don't HAVE to use it, but if you choose to,
it is there for you.
The larger one might fit into your signature.

They should upload without needing any changes for here.
Or you can use them in any other way you like.

I hope this is the same lily.

Thank you for sharing these feelings with the posters here.
Everyone eventually goes thru losses, and you have a real gift for stating yours in a way that will help others as well.