My student abuse counselor made the comment yesterday that if a man is serious with a woman he would want to talk about the relationship. I had told her how Bobby didn't want to talk about us when I was telling him I was sorry for the hurtful things I said. I then told him that I was also hurt and that's why I said those hurtful things and how he said not to worry about it. Well, on Monday when I mentioned to Bobby I had an appointment with my abuse counselor the next day he asked me why do I still go to an abuse counselor when I'm not in an abusive relationship. I told him because when a woman had been verbally and emotionally abused it takes awhile to get over it. He wanted to know what kind of things and I told him low self esteeem. It was Elizabeth who was critical and said I need to stop living in the past. Bobby never said anything critical or bad about anything in the conversation. But the fact is it seemed he wanted to get inside my head and talk about it. So in a way he's got to think something of me once again to want to get inside my head. I don't know why it is so important to me that I know Bobby cares for me. Wait a minute, I think I know now. Because of my low seft esteem I have the need to think Bobby likes me to build my self esteem back up. Gosh, it just came to me. So instead of worrying about Bobby builiding up my self esteem I need to worry about building up my self esteem on my own.

Bobby will be going to court with me in January.