you can scream - just do it into a very thick pillow.

(and i highly recommend it btw).

as for managing with the illness, keep in mind that the one thing that WILL CHANGE...

is your mood/state, so there WILL be better times. GUARANTEED.

there are lots of options out there medwise. right now, there are some time factors. but each day is finite. take it one at a time. do not think about whether the zoloft will work. just do the best you can on a moment to moment basis, to be with yourself... as you are. acknowledge and accept your mood/state... then,

try to find activities you can do - mental or gentle physical - to distract yourself, vent excess energy - by writing here, by visiting with people, by keeping a journal, by watching tv or reading (if you have the concentration for it). sometimes i can't concentrate to read a whole long book when very activated. but i can concentrate on a paragraph at a time. so just short things like magazine articles, short poems, or things that can be broken down.

also doing repetitive "mindless" activities sometimes helps soothe me... just let my mind wander and trundle on...

i am not so inspired tonight, perhaps someone else will come along with some good concrete thoughts that might help you.

Above all be kind to yourself and do not define yourself in terms of your illness. you HAVE this affliction, but YOU are MUCH MORE than the sum of these symptoms.

Show yourself compassion for your suffering, and know that you are special - in the best sense of the word.

((( more hugs )))

~ waves ~