Whoo! I have some doozies in my background, and I have worked really , really hard to get my life up and on track. Sometimes I will be counting my blessings on what a wonderful life I have, and then....BAM! I remember how cruel someone was to me, or BAM! I remember that I was once cruel to someone else, or BAM! I remember some really hard struggles, or BAM! I remember giving up opportunities that would have gotten me far, just so I could remain stuck a while longer, or BAM! ...you get the idea.

I learned long ago not to fight such things. I have asked for forgiveness for my transgressions, and I am truly repentant about them. I feel horrible for some of the things I have done, or said. I truly am sorry for them. I have asked for, and feel I have been forgiven. Forgiveness, and forgetfulness are two different creatures. I have forgiven those who hurt me. I truly have turned them over to God. He shall be their judge and jury, and its not my place to be that person in their lives. I would have been better off had I never met them, but I cant go back and undo the past, I can only look forward and reshape my future.

I try hard to say a lil prayer for the situation, and simply let it walk through my mind. I dont try to hold it in my head, I dont try to ruminate on it, or rehash how I could have fixed it, or stopped it, or changed it. it is what it is, and there is nothing I can do to change it. I can change how I handle it NOW. I allow it to walk through, and get to the other side, and then I open the door and let it out. I dont want it to stop and talk to me. I just let it dance on by. then I distract myself. I sing a song, or read a book, or do a chore, or pick up the phone, or say a prayer, or talk to a friend, or clean a toilet. before you know it, I am onto something else to think about.

You are not alone sal. you are not alone. We all have those thoughts.