Sadgal, I am so sorry that you are in this nightmare. I can understand that you would feel relief had he succeeded.
Failing in a suicide attempt happens so often and the fallout can impact families lives forever. There was a long time poster who's daughter failed in her suicide attempt and she's been left to care for her for the rest of their lives...and the daughter may out live her mother.
I often think about them and wonder how she is managing.
Our son succeeded with his gun and changed our lives forever.
How old are your children? Please know that there are a lot of people here who care about what you are having to go through. Again, I am so sorry.