Well you two have summed up my battle with RSD and myself quite nicely. I think the hardest thing for me was that notion that life as I had known it was now history, and there was nothing, and I mean nothing I could do about it.

It put me in a 3 year depression where I didnt want to see anyone at all, and when I did it was as if I was not there. All I could think about was how I was going to get myself back into the work world, and recoup all that this RSD had taken from me. The more I tried, the more it knocked me back down.

At the same time I found these forums, and was making some friends that I know to be my RSD family because we share such a common bond, such as what we are talking about now. As I learned about others struggles, mine seemed not as bad, maybe even childs play compared to some. I began to try and put my struggle into perspective, and to force myself to face the reality that this is now my life. Pain is now a part of me as much as my arm, or my leg, or that image in the mirror I look at every day, and I have to get used to the idea of dealing with it daily.

I still yearn for the old me that had the expensive sports cars, big office, and the 20 more years left to advance in an industry that could make your wildest dreams come true. Only now I look back in pride, because I made it at least. Nobody can take away what I did accomplish, and because of those successes, and hard work. I can beat this RSD down, and not let it steal my joy for today.

Sure I need medication to help me with this fight, and sometimes it knocks me a good one. Puts me down for a few days, but I bounce right back! I come back swinging! It will not keep me down. There is really too much to do. There are grand kids, sunsets, sons and daughters, husbands and wifes, places to see, restaurants I havent tried yet, and the list goes on.

Last summer I took my power chair on the train, and we travel up to Oregon, and had a blast! This summer we put the power chair in the van and went to coast about 6 times, and had a blast! Did RSD try to take the fun out of it? OH you can bet it did! But it couldnt beat me down, sure it hurt like heck, but when does it not? It hurts everyday, just some worse than others.

Maybe you will be the one to beat it back and get that job back! Just dont let it get you down. Life is too short for us to let this dumb RSD play with our minds like that.