Quote:
Originally Posted by Mslday
Sometimes I'm paralysed into believing that I can't go on, other times I wake up with that fighting spirit that says, "no you're not going to get me, "I'll teach you Mr RSD about who's really in control" only to be knocked down time and time again. It's an ongoing battle for me and frankly I'm getting quite tired of it. I dread the thought of winter rain and snow around the corner. Should I resign myself to this fate or keep fighting? They tried to teach me that "pain is my friend" in the pain management program and I still can't accept that. Pain is no friend of mine and I'm certainly not inviting him to my party. I ignore the pain signals as much as I can until the exhaustion of the spreading throbbing burning deep bone pain screams loud enough that I have to finally listen.
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Dear MsL -
I've been mulling this one over for a while. Then the cadence hit me, as in "What do you think of your blue eyed boy now . . . ."
Then too the answer may be implicit in the title of your thread. As in, take two Pema Chödröns and call me in the morning. Seriously, on those wet, cold and dark winter days, I can think of nothing better than "The Wisdom of No Escape," "When Things Fall Apart" or "The Places that Scare You." I've forgotten which of them it is, but as I was reading it, I kept thing that she sounded a lot like Sartre. And then how did she close, but with a quote from the man, something to the effect that the only choice was whether to go to the gas chambers as slaves or free men.
It is in the act of carrying on that we show that we are free. Now, carrying on doesn't have to mean gainful employment, if you're not strong enough for it. I t may be just be following your muse. But for what it's worth, for me, the key (of which I must often be reminded) is to merge into the act of just doing, in a focussed way, whatever it may be. Sort of like the pleasure Ivan Denisovich takes from just rolling a cigarette at the end of his day.
*
Mike
*A. Solzhenitsyn (1962).