You're not beyond help, don't think that, I know it's awfully hard to see now, but you can and will get better if you get some help now. I would get in to see your pdoc ASAP. I posted in the other thread, the Not GOod one and want you to know you matter to me and to others here, try to remember you're a GOOD person and deserve to be happy, or at the very least, you deserve stability. Please keep us posted on how you're doing...