My mom had brain surgery for a menigioma tumor. It was discovered after she was found sitting in my sisters driveway asleep at the wheel. Since then she has had the tumor removed but now suffers from seizures which are somewhat controlled by medication.

My family and I have some questions to those of you going through this or take care of a loved one with this type of medical condition. Mom is angry, she's negative, she's depressed and she feels out of control. Because of this she takes her frustrations out on us. No matter what we do to help it's never enough and we are at fault if we dare say anything about it.

If we advise her, she snaps and says we yell at her. She complains that she can't drive and seems to think she can even though her last seizure lasted over 8 hours in which we had to place her into an induced coma. She says we treat her like she's dumb and crazy. We don't think we do but in her mind we are if that makes sense.

She needs help doing her checkbook and keeping up with her appointments. She forgets most things said to her at the doctor and even if my little sister is there with her, mom argues about what was said. She wont be honest with her doctor either. She sees a neuro who put her on something to calm her nerves and she refused to take it as prescribed. Yet she failed to admit this to the neuro and he raised the dose.

She saw her primary doctor and he changed that pill and we're not sure she's taking that one either. She's not eating right, is down and angry and cannot accept what's happened to her. The surgery was two years ago this coming February.

I think we need to call her neuro and primary doctor and get serious with them about mom's condition. They think she's doing fine. She is physically but mentally she's losing it. I must admit to you that she does not act this way with those outside the family. She is a private person and doesn't like others to know her business. Yet, she will talk down me and my sister as if she's the victim and we are being mean to her.

Thank goodness many know mom and know this not to be true. My question to you is how do we handle this? Should we intervene and chance her getting even more angry by talking to her doctors? Or do we sit by and see how things pan out? My little sister has all but stopped talking to mom and I am in the middle seeing both sides. Mom was coming up here to live with me next summer but I am not sure I can handle it if she's not willing to seek some form of help. Yet, I feel guilt because in some ways I know it's not all her fault.

Mom has always been high strung and the one in control. She's lost that control so now I fear it may send her down a path no one can get her out of. I also know I don't handle the confrontations very well. My husband has ms and I know everything about ms, 22 years of it. But brain injury? This is a mystery to me. What can I do to keep mom from getting so upset she loses her temper and control? What are things we should avoid and how do we do handle that if she's coming after us verbally? The two way street is narrowing and I am afraid mom will lose everyone who cares for her if this isn't addressed. My sister and I are all she really has left. Her friends are pulling away and her two sons are emotionally detached (before the surgery).

Thanks ahead of time.