I recently upped my Tegretol dosage (100mg tabs) to 6 pills a day and the other day I was driving and fell asleep and hit another vehicle. I stayed awake late the night before, but the accident occured in the middle of the day around 1 pm. I'm wondering if it's the medicine or what is the reason.

The pain levels I'm feeling are in the 9-10 level range and I'm scared as hell. I need to find another neurologist, but I am just in so much pain and have so much fear right now.


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Each step makes me regret walking on my feet,
since the lighting shocks on the left side of my face dance to their rhythm.
Each bite makes me wish to starve for life,
Since the pain of starving couldn't compare to the pain of taking a bite.
Each attack while talking makes me embarassed beyond belief,
because I stop amidst a sentence, as I watch the questions fill their mind.
Each day that passes I grow weaker just wish for relief,
because each day I wish to not think before I eat.

When with family or with friends I see their eyes when i'm in pain,
they feel sorry for me, but don't comprehend the pain.
While their lives continue, mine is spent inside my brain,
each second waiting for an end to this excrutiating pain.
Yet with each passing sencond I spend awaiting relief,
another passes with the chance of causing me more grief.

I haven't quite decided which symptom I found worse,
living with the pain, or dealing with the curse.
I feel a burden was thrust upon me, a burden I must bear,
a burden that is successful at tearing me apart from the world.
The pain might linger for a minute,
but the shame of living with this curse can never be lifted.

When I am faced with attacks that never seem to end,
my mind sinks into sadness ... self pity kicks in.

For fearing eating, or brushing your teeth,
or just walking for that matter,
is a challenge for even the strongest wills alive,
but as the realities of responsibilities add in stress,
the pain is amplified.

Tegretol once masked the symptoms I've described,
but after a year, the dosage has multiplied.
Never feeling myself, the medicine was not my choice to take,
but it was the best alternative to answering to my fate.
But as the dosage upped to 600 mg a day,
I missed the drowsiness it caused until one fateful day.
A day I won't forget, a day that will live with me,
the day I fell asleep and my car plowed into the car ahead of me.
I awoke to the impact, my mind was so confused,
my eyes were shut for seconds, my ego was the most bruised.
No deaths occured, or pain that can't be fixed,
but fear is all that's left.
Why did this happen, was it the medicine?
I feel like an uncontrollable mess.