Hi guys.

Well. I was getting nauseous with anxiety thinking about going to therapy today. So just now i called and cancelled. to think i was worried about cancelling "late" . this is as late as it gets! except for perhaps missing the bus.

I didn't actually talk to my pdoc. it is 1.30pm here - lunchtime. i left voice mail. i know i sounded guilty as sin which is how i feel too. I said i was sorry for the late notice but i just couldn't make it to therapy today, and repeated, "i just can't make it." no specifics. i did not want to make up some excuse. and i doubt he will think i am physically ill because if i were, i would typically state my ailment. so i believe he will figure it is emotional in some way.

i left off saying forgive me, and i am really sorry, then used a generic term for being in touch soon that doesn't imply who should initiate. so, he may decide to call me to see what is up, but i think he will probably leave it up to me.

now on top of nauseous i feel like a dirty rat. i am glad i am not going though. i think i will eat something. it might quell the stomach.

~ waves ~ the wimp