I haven't been on in a while because I just have not been feeling real great both emotionally and physcially. I had my second appeal hearing with Blue Cross on Friday and the MD (director) of my appeal could not have been more of a pompouos ***! (sorry for the language).
He treated me like I did not know anything. He asked me why I was not in Dr. Schwartzman's ketamine research that was currently being done. I asked him if he read the research I had sent him previously for which I got a rude I read everything. I told him I thought the research I sent him was done and quoted in the literature. He said the literature he was reading was updated 10/09. Turns out at the end of the meeting he realized it was last updated in 4/09.
If I told you what I truly felt about the guy, I might not be able to post anymore. He actually tried to tell me I might be in the study and not know it. I'm a nurse and know that this is impossible but ask me why all I could do at the hearing was cry (It seems I do a lot of that lately, like right now). Who do these Dr's think they are. I know he is working for Blue Cross and it is his job to save them money but that is no way to treat people. Let along sick people (jerk). I am not holding out too much hope that my treatments will be reinstated. By the way I have a sister-in-law that is a doc and is going to help me send a complaint to the ethical committee of the AMA. (my first time ever doing anything like that)

I am so tired of being sick and tired. I try to take each day as it comes but lately I keep thinking how I'm going to live like this forever. The pain is so bad most days. Sorry to sound so depressing not my usual self. I am starting to see a therapist next Monday. I am hoping it helps me cope. Ok enough griping!

I saw Dr. Schwartzman on Monday. He changed my meds to Neurotin 300mg at bedtime and Elavil 25mg at bedtime. He told me to stop the Ultram I was taking (50 mg two times a day). He said it will end up tearing up my stomach. I was taking Nortriptyline 100 mg before with the Ultram and for the last two days the pain has been worse. I also have a feeling in my throat in chest that feels like I have been out in the cold breathing in cold air (sound familiar to anyone?) Does anyone know if all the increased symptoms may be my body adjusting to the change in meds? Any info would be appreciated!

I thank god there are people who I can write to who understand. Everyone around me really trys but unless I experienced RSD I could never have imagined what it does to a person life.

Hanging in there (like we have a choice!)
hopeful not sticking true to my name today am I?