Originally Posted by dessteele

I'm so sorry you're going through this with Blue Cross and this obviously ignorant doctor. It's terrible to be in so much pain and have to be your own advocate. I've not had this experience, and hope that I never do, and even more hope that you'll find the light at the end of the tunnel soon.

I know what you mean about the crying. This disease is so personal, and so totally misunderstood. I know how hard it is to face the ignorance, knowing that the person you're attempting to convince of your reality could never begin to know what you're dealing with. It's so likely that this jerk of a dr could deal with the level of pain you deal with everyday; it's maddening.

I was in a flare up for the last 3 weeks or so (had a nerve block today and am feeling so much better already), and yesterday had an argument with my daughter. Of course, I cried. Emotions run so high when the pain is bad. And of course, her first reaction? "Don't try to make me feel guilty by crying." Made me cry even harder; it just brought home how totally disconnected my family is from this disease and what it does to those of us who have it.

I'm praying for you. I know how hard it is to keep your head up and to keep trying to just live, let alone find a little happiness and comfort. Still, you have to try. Try to center yourself, spend some time with a cup of tea and something, anything, that makes you feel good in your heart and soul.