I'm sorry you are hurting. This situation sounds quite complicated and frustrating.

Your appetite will come back. Getting sleep sounds like a good idea.

Try to limit self-medication or any over-medication. I'm not trying to waggle a finger ... it's just that i used to and still get tempted sometimes, and i still fall for it sometimes when i am vulnerable.

But in my experience, it just makes things worse in the end. It takes the edge off temporarily, only to create other problems. In the case of alcohol it can cause us to lose our clarity and disinhibit us to where we do things we regret later. I'm not fond of the benzo's either but if you feel the need for something, try to stick to those and take the smallest effective dose.

I just hope you are ok. Please be careful.

Do get some sleep. Sleep is good.

I hope you wake up feeling a bit better.

~ waves ~