I have not posted for ages. Pardon my absence....life happens. For a while I got hooked on CNBC. Lately, I have been more into the metaphysical. (I hope you guys get my personality.)

I was on Ambien for (drum roll please) TEN YEARS. Got put on it back when it was the miracle drug, and 'no problem', not addictive.

After several years, I found myself feeling like every night, when I made my half dozen trips to the bathroom to commune with the moon, that I was walking on the planet Jupiter. This got worse and worse.

Seriously, I felt the earth's gravity was increasing to the point that I felt I would stick, permanently to the floor. I felt like I weighed tons.

One thing my trip to Hopkins did for me, was, the doc, wailed on me for being on Ambien....(like I put myself on this). So, OK, I went home, and never took another one. I was on 10mg, not the CR, just generic. I do not endorse this method of stopping medication. My brain has been very addled by these chemicals, and I figured, wow, if it is THAT bad, I better stop quick.

Anyway......

I had to rely on clonazepam to fall asleep for a while, but, am off that too.

Now I don't sleep well, but I do not feel as bad as I did on Ambien or clonazepam. Now and then, I have to take a small dose of the clonazepam, but I am really judicious.

I am a sick cookie. My ANA has not come down from the roof, which I do not know where that is, somewhere over 1:1,280 (machine doesn't go any higher) and I am back on IVIG after I was axed by one of the major health insurance companies, who told me I had some other condition, not what I have....and suddenly, with all the hearings going on in Congress, I got my IVIG reinstated. So we will see. I have only recently restarted.

I have an unusual case, so pardon my cryptic references, and I always wonder if some insurance narc is snarking around on boards looking for cases they can ax. Now I am paranoid. Right? Well, the world IS a strange place.

I can't recommend any drug...I have been on all of them and still am on them and still struggle to get off. I will always need some major pain medication, at least at times. No one expects me to 'recover'. (I can still dream and try.)

Sleep? I never feel rested, even if I do sleep an entire night.....but then again, I am still on sleep structure altering drugs which I am hoping by some miracle I won't need.

I was on the combination at one time of Mirapex and Ambien....back before I knew I had neuropathy as part of my disease. I was treated for RLS, which I do have. I had a totally different personality. It is good that I am off both of those things now. However, Mirapex at the time was a Godsend. I had such a bad movement disorder that I thought THAT would kill me.

I have come to the conclusion all medication has its risk. We all have to make choices. I have been sick for a long time, so, I have been on and off the merry go round several times.

I have both autonomic and sensory neuropathy as a component of my autoimmune condition, and we know so little how to treat these conditions. Many drugs absolutely throw my autonomic system into meltdown.

I regret many of the meds I took and abandoned after a nasty reaction or withdrawal. Ugh. Going thru one of them right now....

That said, you must make your choices based on YOUR situation and the profound and prolonged scientific research you do on your condition and the drug!