Hi guys.

No Alffe, I'm not mad, I know you're just trying to help. I've heard that speech many times, and it always makes me feel ashamed of myself...more ashamed than usual anyway, like I'm not trying hard enough to get better. It's probably true, but it's hard to get motivated to help someone I like as little as myself. I know it must be frustrating to try and convince me that life is worth living, especially since I'm so pessimistic about it. It may not seem like I'm listening to your advice but I do and it really helps me feel a little better. It makes me smile when I get online and see that someone has respoded to my post, like maybe I do matter to someone. Sometimes that thought is all that keeps me going.

My weekend's not going so bad. I'm getting plenty of sleep (for me that means being able to sleep for over four hours in a row), even though I spend just as much time lying in bed awake. I don't mind though, it's peaceful and comfy, and much easier than getting up and doing things. Speaking of which, I think I'll get to bed early tonight.

Thank you for your posts. I hope you all are well and have sweet dreams.