Ally, I met a wonderful woman years ago who taught me meditation. When done well, you literally feel like your body is floating you are so "light." No one should put down meditation just because it sounds like some 60's fleeting fad. It is what Buddhist monks do all the time.

I am sorry you have been through so much. I can't imagine having a husband die and so cruelly. There are traumas in life that I'm not sure ever go away. We can lessen their impact but the mind is like a computer that only crashes after a stroke. That stuff is packed away in there and it only takes a dream or a photo or whatever to bring it out again. I'm glad you are able to come to terms with it though.

I agree with Alice about the "mood" thing. Too many people reach for drugs or alcohol or whatever else when they are in a bad mood. We all have moods. And it can be hard to tell what is a down day, a down month or something more serious that cannot be gotten over.

Depression is serious though. I have chosen not to do drugs, mainly because I can't/don't want the side effects. I eat good food, I sleep as well as I can, exercise to get those endorphins going, use as many coping skills as I can. But there are times when all that just doesn't cut it. And I get mad too, Ally. Especially when people don't see ME and only see my disease or react to my disease. Or when they try to "handle" me and tell me what I shouldn't be doing!

Susan, I am very much like you that way. Nature is my savior. I miss going on those road trips to clear my head. I'm lucky my backyard is so beautiful. And the toxins . . . I can't even deal with how people see them as so benign. I'm sorry you are having a rough time. You've been through more than most too and PTSD may be the hardest thing to get over. I sure haven't gotten over mine.

Brian, No problem! I wondered if that's what might be going on. No, you can't wave a magic wand and cure depression either. But when you are depressed, using ALL the tools available to you is the best idea. Those aboringinal people probably don't have as many toxins and eat the "caveman" diet. Don't discount diet though. There are good fats and bad fats. You can get too much B6, for example. Water can contain arsenic and other toxins. There are so many variables to food intake.

Thanks, Simon. It helps to say, at least for me, that "I'm not okay."

Erin, You are very busy supporting others, which is amazing. Now, how about us being able to support you for a change?

The problem with a chronic illness is that it is challenging on a daily basis. You can't "get over it;" it's your constant companion. And MG likes to get in the way of what we do every single day. Some days I literally scream because I can't take not being able to do what I want, or even need, to get done. I don't have kids but I do have a high maintenance dog with pancreatitis (not in a flare) who needs multiple feedings day (and night) of refrigerated food. It's exhausting.

This is not an easy issue. Get help, get as much help as you need and pull together as many resources to make yourself feel as good as possible.

Annie