Hey Kendra,

I know exactly how you feel...I smoke too...and I am so ashamed of it as well...I've been smoking since I was 13 (13-years now...so depressing), and I want to quit so badly...I have quit several times...But I get depressed, and then delude myself into starting again...

The first time I quit smoking, I was so irritable that I was a terror to be around...I only quit for a month and a half...I quit several times after that...Once for 4-months...It wasn't as bad as the first time I had quit, mainly because I realized that having ill-feelings about quitting was what was making me so irritable...The withdrawal from nicotine isn't as bad as it might feel, if that makes any sense...It's sorta mind over matter (and believe me, I hate it when people say that, but it really is when it comes to smoking). The hardest part is the psychological part...Think about it...We've been smoking for at least half of our lives...It's something that's always been there...We have to basically re-learn how to live life without these buggers...(If you haven't noticed, I'm in the quitting mode too...lol)...We have to re-learn how to cope with life's stresses on our own, without the help of our gross-tasting, stinky, expensive 'pals'...

I've found taht when I quit in the past, it helped to stop drinking anything caffeinated, because I associated these with smoking...Drinking tons of water helps too and brushing your teeth whenever you feel like smoking...You might even have to stop seeing people who smoke, at least for a little while, until you get a firm grip on your confidance in living a smoke-free life...

It's true that stress is bad for MG, but if you don't feel stressed in quitting, it will be good for your MG...Sometimes I don't smoke for a few days...My heart doesn't pound as quickly or as hard, in fact, I don't notice my heart symptoms as much, my hands and feet feel warmer, my skin tone is better, breathing is easier...That itch is there, though (the one that wants to be scratched by cigarettes)...The secret is to figure out how to relieve that itch with something else...re-learn a life without cigarettes...That's the secret...

-and you can do it! Don't be down! There are plenty of people who struggle with addiction, and it's not easy to overcome...Have faith that you can do it, and don't feel down about the past, when you started, it's the past- you can only control today (this is what I tell myself too)!