thanks guys for affirming me.

i am thinking my parents probably noticed the marked difference in behavior from when i am at home and assumed it was all alcohol. also since my presence was not strictly necessary (they own the apt, not me... but i explain in first post my motivations for attending - and dad had agreed) they might have expected me to sort of cower and stare at my shoes the entire time.

i don't think they attended many meetings in their life - small group discussion meetings anyway. they even skip most of the condo meetings (the big ones for all residents).

at work i had meetings every dang week... andthensome! here, there were fewer, less organized, but they did occur. i don't think others noticed anything off about my behavior last night. being cordial and smiling is not strange, nor is having lipstick on. unless of course you know that 2 hours before i had been freaking out about having people in the apartment and that i barely get dressed let alone wear make up any more.

haven't talked to dad yet. had trouble sleeping until day... consequently woke up at two. dad asks if everything is "OK" ... i guess he's wondering if i'm hungover. lol, no, i didn't get trashed! no migraine either because i'm out of my risk window. i almost don't want to know what he has to say, but i do... or it will bug me. but first i am having my coffee in peace.

oh, Beth, the reason he deferred the discussion till today i'm sure is - well two things - 1. he was watching a movie, and 2. my mother was there. when he asked if i'd been drinking he did so quietly and out of her sight and earshot.

well. i am less upset but perturbed. with or without alcohol, if i go to meetings i can't have them fussing about me like a 2 year old. THAT is embarassing. but it would be more so not to go along with it, which would also make me unwelcome.

will post again what dad had to say... for the record. i just hope it doesn't T me off.

thanks for listening and replying. ((( Beth ))) ((( Mari )))

~ waves ~