Lupus is manageable in a high proportion of cases. It is no longer the dreaded diagnosis it was 20 years ago, not that it is a picnic either. It is hard not to second guess the docs and waiting for diagnosis, our minds tend to run wild as to what it could possibly be that afflicts us. Hang in there. Lupus is not necessarily genetic, so, don't beat yourself up about your offsprings high ANA. Lupus does run in families, but that is not considered genetic. I know you are suffering and scared, but give the docs some time to work thru the diagnosis.