i too feel cheated out of a normal life.I just cant share these crazy thoughts with anybody.I cant even tell my epileptologist most of these things or my psychiatrist.I feel certain they would put me somewhere or feel obligated to turn this over to child services and take my kids.I am not physically or mentally able to fight that.Im already fighting foreclosure with a good atty and havent paid a credit card in 8 months.Thats hard enough to deal with.