Can you try to back off and separate yourself from him? You are not responsible for his emotional or his physical health. But you ARE responsible for your own health. I have been in an abusive relationship and I know how it works. You are feeling guilt when it is NOT NECESSARY. You are the one who is most important in this pairing. Take care of yourself - it will not make you feel awful - it is freeing. He will deal however he deals - it's his problem.