I've rejoined recently.
So I haven't met you.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. The mental trauma, together with so much physical pain!
There is a lot of similar problems on both sides of family.
I dread going for my check ups. Last time I went was three years after I should have.

BJ, to try and rise above all the the unpleasantness is the best one can do.
I am not religious, but I find meditating on a thought helps. It reinforces the purpose. I generally use a rosary to keep a proper count, because it is so easy to give up. But I predetermine how many times I want to chant(for the want of a better word) and stick to it.

I use 108 plain round crystal beads on a string. Keeping count becomes easy. When I am particularly disturbed I do a few rounds while breathing in deep.

It often helps.

I recite a few lines which puts me in touch with my surroundings and helps me think of myself in that context.

If you wish I can either PM you or add it to this thread.
Please don't hesitate to refuse because every body has a different way to cope, and you may have found yours.