Thank you. I thank all of you. There are no support groups this deep in the country. I've asked,and the response is no. My case worker quite her job about a month ago. I don't think that they are going to replace her. The only help is in the next county which is about 65 miles away. The out patient support is not working at this time.

I'm being charged rent now in spite of what my sister said before. They want me to move. It's unbearable for me to think about this at this time. It goes on,and on.

There is one counsellor in this county,but I'm not getting anywhere. I see her the day after tomorrow. I've had so much counselling over the years,that it all runs together. Some councellors say the opposite of what another counsellor says. Some of them are just licensed counsellors,and not college trained. I just don't know. I try to eat the meat,and spit out the bone when I'm being counselled. Sometimes they say something that hurts real bad,and I cannot get it out of my head for the rest of the session. That's the OCD,and panic attack kicking in.

I've sought help in life,and I've also braved it without much help. I've thrown myself into resky situations,and found growth. I've gone down into slumps,like what happening now,and can't seem to get a grip on myself. The illnesses seem to change,and trick me as I grow older. It just goes on,and on.

I sidetrack these illnesses,and work on projects,but right now I have a hard time being interested in a project,because of my depression which saps the life out of my interests.

Bible verses from Isaiah help me. I have to look at them over,and over because I forget them sometimes when I'm in a life slump,like I am in right now.

We are all in different stages of our life,and sometimes I can help someone when I see that they are going through something that I've gone through,or close to what I've gone through. BF