I feel kinda bad for not posting anything for a while. It's not because I don't care about you guys anymore, I just have nothing to contribute. There is never any news to be heard about me. Every day is more pointless than the last. No activities, no contact with loved ones, (or anyone at all). Every morning I dread the time when I have to get up, and the rest of the day is spent wishing it was late enough to go to bed. Music, movies, TV.....everything somehow finds a way to make me hate life a little more, or reminds me of why I hated it in the first place. Every little tiny task seems to take all my effort. I usually don't even start; the outcome is hardly worth the effort.

I can't think about the future because I don't want the future to come. The only time I feel hopeful is when I'm hoping I wont wake up tomorrow, or hoping I'll die in a car accident on the way to work, and of course, I'm always dissapointed when I end up alive and healthy, (phisically anyway). Sometimes I wish I would get sick, if only because then someone might give me some attention, I could hold their interest for a minute or two before they forget I exist.

But I never do, I continue to live, physically healthy, emotionaly broken, unnoticed, unwanted, and alone. For one pointless day after another.....