I had my first appointment with my third Neurologist today. After a very thorough examination, he diagnosed me with Essential Tremor. One of the craziest things was when he asked me to draw a copy of a circle that was like a spiral formation. I began to copy it and he asked me not to press so hard on the paper. I told him that I always use a lot of pressure when I write. He told me that was an adaptation. I had learned to adapt to my tremor. He asked me to try and relax and copy the circle using less pressure. As I did, what began to form was a mess of scribble scrabble going around in a circle. You could see my tremor very clearly in my circle. At that very moment, I said, "Oh…my God, I have Essential Tremor, don't I?" Honestly, I can't remember what his exact words were. I think he mentioned finishing the rest of the exam so that he could continue to check out my tremor some more.

At the very end of the exam. He told me, "You have Essential Tremor." He told me the differences between PD and ET and told me why I didn't meet the criteria for PD, and why I did fit the criteria for ET. He determined that I DON'T have cogwheel rigidity when I am in a fully relaxed state. The problem is that I am not very good at relaxing. When I was able to fully relax, the cogwheeling went away. It was a Rheumatologist that first noticed the cogwheeling and sent me to the first Neuro. Even when I questioned my first Neuro about the possibility that I had ET because of the fact that my tremors most often occur with movement, he said that I couldn't have cogwheeling with ET. It was only a part of PD. I remember him telling me that I had really done my research though. Another thing that has always bothered me is that from the beginning I knew that my tremor was unusual because it is most noticeable with movement. That doesn't mean that I don't have a tremor when I hold a paper in my hand or move my thumb though. The new Neurologist today told me that is because anytime I change positions, even just moving my thumb from one stationary position to another stationary position can cause a tremor. Anytime a person with ET moves a muscle there may be a tremor. Also, my shakiness is totally symmetrical, which is not the way things are with PD. I have been pretty symmetrical in my shakiness from the beginning of all of this. That has always bothered me and led me to believe that if I did have PD, it sure had progressed really fast…which led to a lot of fear.

All I can say is that when the doctor was sending my prescription for a Beta-Blocker to treat the ET to the pharmacy, I began to feel the tears well up in my eyes. Then, before I knew it the tears were running down my cheeks and I had to grab a tissue. Dr. H looked at me and said ,” That’s why the tissues are there!” I told him that it had been almost three years of hell just trying to get the right diagnosis and how I had spent so much time worrying about what was really going on with my body and how I had really been let down by the doctors that I had seen. He told me that my MDS was right as far as diagnosing me with a physiologic tremor because ET is a physiologic tremor. He said that my MDS just didn't label the tremor as ET or treat me with ET medications. Where my MDS was wrong is that my tremor has nothing to do with Fibromyalgia and everything to do with ET.

Tonight, I feel pretty peaceful about all of this. I still have some questions about why I have so much pain in my body. Maybe I have Fibromyalgia and ET. I also have some questions as to why the dopamine agonists and the Sinemet seemed to help me with my symptoms, especially my pain level. My thought is that since I have had depression for so long(on and off since 2002) and have been untreated for so long, the PD meds probably gave me that "feel good" chemical that probably helped. Do any of you scientific thinkers have any ideas as to why the PD meds seemed to give me some relief? Just curious…as always!

I am supposed to wean off of the Sinemet over the next three days and then begin the medication for ET. I am hoping to see some pretty quick benefits, but I really don’t how soon that should happen. I didn’t ask! I guess I have more research to do.

I will still pop in now and then to check the boards on this forum and see how all of you are doing, but I think I will start posting in the ET forum from now on. Thanks again for all of the support that you have all given me over the last year and a half. I really appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Evonne