and a laptop, I'm going to spend a day in bed reading every post in every thread until my eyes explode. Once I get behind in a thread (read: miss the first six posts) I never catch up. I read a lot of thread titles thinking "I'm gonna come back later and read that one."

On that same day, I'm going to wish everybody a happy birthday on their HBTY thread, AND I'm going to make wise and witty and compassionate comments on every thread.

Probably the same day the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch.