I am sorry you are feeling guilty. I get that way too - this year I am - when i feel like i don't have the energy to invest that would make others happy.

Last year i was stressed, but didn't have the guilt, because i managed to get some gifts etc, just a few, to my parents basically and one friend. Friends get gifts randomly from me and they know it. They also know that i can't afford shipping costs from here, so i am not expected to. Still, i sometimes feel badly that i can't find something to do for others who i know are more into the holiday thing. Fortunately our relatives have all caught on that my family nucleus no longer does gifts. LOL exception, one year i was hypo and bought EVERYBODY EXPENSIVE gifts. But, I digress.

I wonder if you can, without specific reference to the holidays, perhaps send your parents a little card, or call them more frequently than you would. If they celebrate a holiday, you could call them on that day. you needn't bring up the holiday, just connecting on that day would be a gift in itself, i am sure.

I am just thinking... one gesture. pick a simple one that doesn't stress you out. Holidays are traditionally family time, and i am wondering if this is bringing out an actual desire, not just guilt, to be closer to your family than you are. Maybe not a lot closer. Maybe just a little. I don't know. Just a thought.

Anyway try to take it easy. Whatever you do - or even if you do nothing - it will be ok. Your family is still your family. This is a stressful time.



~ waves ~