We are very passionate about our traumas. There is no doubt that a pattern of mirapex users were ruined, They lost their homes and families. i 'm one of them but i didn't gamble or engage in sexual activity.. i left mentally. i moved into cyberspace and became a prolific poster. it took me till last year - that would be ten years - to not "need" the motivation and inspiration provided by communicating at the levels where i can make a difference. This began with Mike Fox, and started out in disbelief and confusion at being so unlucky and lucky at the same time.

buti had hidden for years and who woulda thought all that time he was goijng thru exactly the same thing? so i became detached, retired, distracted,l couldn't multi task an eventaully wasn't there for my familiy as i could have been.

but they were all having their own crises. the girls went thru hgh school and junior high not doing anywhere near as well as they had been when i was more involved. i was involved as a cheerleader mother and active parent until they were in 9th and 11th grade and then our famiily felll apart. They didn't understand and my husband was stressed. but i'm up till 2,3 or 4 am giggling on the computer or even talking on the phone. it was backwards, mom was acting like a teenager.


the day i went to spin city with brenda and nan to meet mike was the first time i met my online friends in person. my husband dropped me off at the airport after fighting with me the whole way to the airport for spending so much moneyl But this was just too much fun. i hadn't been to NYC in ages and mike was also coming tto meet with us and about ten others -15 orthers at the hotel.

we ended up eventaully declaring bandruptcy. out beautiful home on the lake did not foreclose, it sold to a southwest pilot who wanted the house from seeing it on the internet. he is still there i think. they didn't take our property, we did''t owe that much,, but they took our credit and our pride. the family continued downhill sliding but i had cyberspace to run to. even tho i was very productive, my famil y didn't join me in understanding this illness. the girls were too moody and growing up under stressful conditions now and it became very traumatic for years.

My daughter had a baby and my other daughter didn't do well in school . it took years to resolve it and last year i left again for 5 months. now i'm back with my husband, but we have moved around so much we had to start over . i don't want or need material possessions , can't manage them. have to go pic my brother up at the airport. most of you already know my story. but this was trauma...heavy duty trauma.....and hard on the illness .....hard on us all. i lost my home and many posessions, but never gambled or got into porn or sex.

so trauma comes from ..........agonists? i think computer addiction islike gambling. you get the right hit and you come back for more . i question whether ldopa is just as destructive, but how can they take that away. will be back to edit gotta run;

paula