I don't know what it's like to loose someone to suicide, but I know what it's like to be suicidal. What happened to your mother was not your fault, you tried to help her, and you did what was best for your family. It's obvious that your mother also loved her grandchildren and would never do anything to hurt them, even if she had to spend less time with them. You may never know whether or not she OD'd on purpose, but I think it's likely that she was just hurting a little worse than usual so she took a few more pills than usual.

I'm sorry for your loss. Suicidal thoughts are irrational and they are strong, and they are the result of a disease. They are never the fault of the loved ones who survived.

Keep coming here and posting your thoughts....it's been kind of slow here today, but there are many more people here who have had similar experiences, and all of them are kind and caring.

Take care