Nope, nobody is supposed to be unhappy L1.
Seriously - if you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you.
It sounds like your mom, in spite of her issues, loves you... but what a heavy burden you carry... thinking you might be the cause of her relapse ... I'm so sorry you feel that way.

Surely there is free couselling where you are... I simply cannot understand a gov't that doesn't help its people.. and I'm so sorry that this seems to be happening more and more in your country and in mine

Reyn you are a generous soul... you give L1 hope... and show him that he does have choices.

L1.... maybe right now you're not ready to make a huge choice to move on in your life...

but please try to make one choice... and that's to take a baby step towards loving yourself.

Blue... oh Blue... you are not ugly or weird.. you're just you... sorting yourself out...

it ain't easy being a human
Addy