I think you hit the nail on the head. She is not normally this way; however, around the holidays, she and my mom can be somewhat competative in making sure the other doesn't get more time with us (well, it's really all about my daughter, but that's how it is with grandchildren, isn't it? especially the first/only grandchild!).
MIL is separated from her husband, my DH's step-father, (thank God!) and it's been extremely hard on her. I do understand that. It's the first major holiday and the normal holiday plans have been changed since we won't be going to his family's house. She doesn't want the holiday get-together to be as small it would be if it were just her, my DH, me and DD, so she made plans for us all to go to her sister's house. I do get that she is having a really hard time with this separation/pending divorce (she shouldn't be b/c he is an _ _ _ and deserved to be kicked out long ago---the first time he cheated on her) and feels that she needs her son with her. I know that she really isn't thinking normally, and I'm trying to remember that.
My mother, bless her heart, loves to throw in an "if y'all would move home, you'd have so much help when you are in a relapse or just having a bad day" in almost every conversation we have. It would be great to have all that help, but it might just be TOO much help, if ya know what I mean.
Thanks everyone for your replies. It does help to hear from those who understand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dejibo
Awww hugs!  Sounds like mom was trying hard to rescue a situation that may have taken her son/grandchild away from her during the holidays, and was working hard to find ways to rescue it, even if it meant keeping others uncomfortable. From what you said, it sounds like MIL isnt normally that type, so maybe there is extra company this year that she wants to show you all off to? I hope you can focus on just getting better, and let MIL take her big girl pill, and realise that her little boy's place is by the side of his wife and child.
I too live 2 hours away from the husbands family, and they get testy sometimes when we dont show up for all the birthdays, christinings, graduation, and holiday parties. We pick a select few ahead of time, and aim for those. We dont attend all the lil kid parties anymore. We dont have lil kids anymore, and we save our energy for the special events.
You are NOT selfish to want your DH to stay by YOUR side when you are not feeling well, and it sounds like your DH has this well in hand. Please, kick back, try to rest, and let him drive. Sounds like he knows just what to say to mom, and just where to draw the line.
Feel better |