i wonder if i can tell you all i think about the members of this board often

i wonder if i can tell you that i'm not doing well without being embarrassed. i'm not keeping my head above the water. i have dark thoughts that i'm trying to fight. i've been winning so far. but i'm getting tired.

i wonder if i can thank all of you who have sent me private msgs and mentioned me in posts. it's hard for me to write. i really want to, but it's hard to write what i'm going through. one day i will. i promise.