Quote:
Originally Posted by AintSoBad
Kim,
When I was diagnosed with RSD, (7 years in), my children were about 3 daughter, 8 son.
I was put on methadone. Wife didn't want to live with a "Drug Addict", She left, and went out on the town imbibing in every street drug there was. I raised my children, and it hurt!
What was my secret?
I didn't ask for anything, I gave them so much love, and kindness, I took a "Positive Parenting seminar". (No punishment, Positive reinforcement). You can google that, it's the big rage now.
But, what I'm saying is, I gave my children so much, of what I desired from them, that they were overflowing with it, and had plenty for me!
I didn't need to ask for anything. We all took care of each other.
Then my second accident came, first wife colluded with second, theft happened, children warned me and saw it, now they've moved away and don't speak to anyone.
I have a grandson, whom I've never met. About a year and half or two old.. guessing.
It's very sad. I was so happy and proud, but, God had other plans.
I'm not so worried. (I do believe the first divorce hurt my son more than it hurt me).
I don't miss my wives at all, I shiver, thinking about being there. But the children, I know, want the love back. Everything they do now, is compensation.
Time. Patience. Faith.
I think that's all we can do. And, Never try to "force" love from them!
That will surely backfire!
They're children, they want to do teenage things! He'n and She'n. Like that.
Kim, they're forever yours. Don't forget it!
It's a stage. NOT, the "way it is".
Pete
asb
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Hi Kim, As a mother, I know this is very painful for you. I got RSD when our daughter was 15. My husband and I are grateful we signed up for a parent communication class the beginning of middle school-age 12. It was a fantastic class regarding communication, asking for what we need, settling differences, letting go as they grow up, etc. I'm going to try and find the titles and PM them to you. In book stores, in the self help section, are many parenting books that have skills written out. We did role playing in the classroom. It was just parents and the school couselor-not students.
I'm fortunate my daughter and husband did some research of their own, so understand more than average person, plus my daughter is a court reporter and did a deposition on RSD a lady got and was suing her Dr. I know my daughter and husband have lost a lot due to me getting RSD. So many loses. No easy on either of them.
I'll try to get the name of the book and write you. Have you thought of giving them each an assignment of looking up RSD and writing a report on the condition, it's affect on the patient , the children and marriage mate. That would be interesting to hear their views. Take care, and please let us know how you are doing. Your friend, loretta