Sharla, Sharla!

Don't you dare think such rubbish about yourself. You are a lovely young lady, with a promising, happy life ahead who is going through a bad depressive episode right now.
Once you are better you will be able to take complete control over your life.
Don't ever doubt it. It is the nature of this illness that is making you fee this negative. Keep telling yourself that.

Meanwhile see your pdoc and the therapist

I can't emphasise that enough.

Make those arrangements NOW sweetheart, will you?