Yesterday was just horrid. It was like the world around me was crumbling. I told my mom that we were God's sick science experiment. That we were His Lab rats. I was just upset to the core. There were too many things going on that day I guess.

It all started well when all of the sudden I thought about the space heater in my room. My mind told me that My house that I lived in was on fire. And all I can think about is how I ruined everything and how I should just die because of it. so I called my friend and told her to unplug everything in my r0om at this rate and take the space heater with you. Then I started crying because I thought everyone hated me at this rate and that I can not do what everyone else can. Which hurts me a lot. I can not remember if I left the space heater on or off before i leave the house. I can't explain what a loser I am for not being able to remember when I check the thing before I left the house. Then I went home and talk to my friend and she gave me a hug and said she is here for me. I felt a little better when they said that they will still love me even if the house was burned down. they told me I was more important.

Well after that i learned that my grandpa was not getting better. So I cried more and got depressed more and I could not stop being sad.

Then my best friend from middle school contacted me on myspace. Ever since 8th grade she was looking for me. My step mother was the reason why we lost contact. She forbid me to talk to her because she had a fight with my friends mom. So she has been looking for me ever since. And all this time I thought she forgot all about me, And also in the same week she was looking for me, I was looking for her. But I failed. I am glad she suceeded. So that was bit too much for me.
Then after that, could not find something I need in my clean room. And I just about had it! I tore up the room and threw things around the room. Then when I finally found it. I got more depressed and started getting angry at myself and God and then that is what happened. I have not been able to do my homework. And that is it.


I did not hurt myself. So that is good. But I thought I was losing it. It finds new ways on messing with me.

Sharla

Today was a better day. I feel better.