Dear Bobby,

Can you talk to her?
Maybe ask her what she sees as her role.
And then for example, tell her you do not need her for instructions. Or, for that matter, rules. We've got enough rules.
Let her know that you are working on being compassionate toward yourself and others and forcing yourself to bathe and shower everyday is not compatible with that.
Tell her what your focus IS.

Let her know exactly how she is helping and how she is not.
Tell her what you do need her for.
Give her suggestions on what you need help with.


Basically, redirect her and give her a different focus.
Maybe the both of you can find a way for her to actually help you.

M.