I had my I suppose you could call it most debilatating bang on the head 8 years ago - hit my head on a hanging basket and about a month after that hit my head on the door frame getting into a taxi. I thought I had got over the first one ok but I don't think I had and ended up with symptons like yours.

Initially I tried to work full time but found that I couldn't read, concentrate etc and felt like my brain was screaming. The doctor at the time did not believe me and said that he knew about people like me as he used to work for an insurance company - then came the I must be going crazy thoughts.

Eventually I saw a well known psychologist - she put me off work for a month and then I went back an hour or 2 a day. About 2 years later when I was pushing myself to work about 5 hours which I found terribly terribly tiring, I became dizzy and fell and was ko'd. Stitches in my face etc and was back to 3 hours a day eventually building up again - was being forced up by our Accident Compensation People. Not long after this I had the feeling that I was going to die, my husband rushed me to the doctor and my blood pressure had gone sky rocketing and was rushed to hospital. I was really really lucky I didn't have a stroke.

So about 3-4 years following I was back to 3 hours a day. This still left me exhasuted - weekends were recovery time, social life very very limited and was like an existence I was hanging on to. During this time I was still bumping my head which of course didn't help.

Only testing I had which showed anything was a QEEG - according to that my brain is speeding in one frontal lobe and not doing to much in others. I am also meant to have a major learning disability.

2 yrs ago - so must have been into my 6th year I was fired by a client - (I am a legal executive) it was because of our fees not quality of work, but it was just the final thing - I had a total melt down and have not been back to work since. I admit that I knew I had been hanging on by a thread for so long and I think the "firing" with my mother dying 6 months earlier was the last straw for me.

I do have a better quality of life now if I keep to my strict routine. I can work around most of the memory and concentration issues, but I still have the fatigue - I have to rest from 11.30-12.00 each midday regardless of where I am or what I have been doing, then I need to sleep for an hour each afternoon say 3-4p.m. If I don't do that I can't sleep at night and then life is not good for days. If I am out I will even sleep in my car if I have to - always have a pillow and blanket in it!

With exercise I find that I can do a fast walk for 5-6 miles anything more and I will get a shocking migraine with unending vomiting - and the end result injections to stop it all. I can't jog as it is too jerky, cardio and stretches has been ok at the gym.

So have I got better? Yes I think I have - but I think most of my improvement is from learning to live with it and not pushing myself too hard. It was really hard to come to terms with the fact that by pushing yourself you actually became worse. I know I have the wrong personality type for this injury!

I still find myself unable to sustain a lot of stress - it is like it just draws a blank in my brain. I also think I am a nicer person, the old Lynlee was a very fussy, picky perfectionist who was a know all and expected everybody else to create perfection as well. I am somewhat more compassionate but do get annoyed when things aren't done properly!

What I do know now is: who my real friends are, you want die from dust or a dirty car or weeds in the garden

What I wish I had done is - got the best help sooner, and taken more time off work sooner and rested when I needed to instead of fighting it so hard for so long. - but then everybody was telling me that there was nothing wrong with me - trust yourself - only you will know when your need rest and when you make sure you get it! The absolute best thing is REST and avoid over stimulation - nose and music.

I keep telling myself - peace - calm - relax!

The boys will be able to be a lot more technical. My next thing will be trying LENS neurofeedback.

I have been told by Barry Waller (one of the Canadian specialist in PCS/Sports recovery) that it is not likely that I will be any better, my psychiatrist has told me that this is as good as it gets, I have repeatedly searched around for anything that will keep me awake all day and tried a couple of drugs - legal - and they have resulted in shocking headaches. Only one thing has made me feel normal and that was the 2 days on morphine when I had the terrible blood pressure headache. I still keep hoping and looking for the day when I will be able to stay awake all day.

So good luck - it is early days yet - maybe your could try taking 6 months leave from your work and then slowly ease back, one on one tutoring? I know others would disagree with me and say persist, I just know with me if had stopped working earlier I feel I would be a lot better now.

Lynlee