Lordwood said the reason he got turned down for the infusions was his depression. I believe him. When I first started with my depression, I had several Drs. that would not help me due to my depression and they said as much. I believe they feel that a person can be so depressed that their system won't hold up for what they are asking to have done. My depression was so bad that I had to sign a living will years ago because my PCP didn't know if I could make it.

Depression comes with illnesses and it can be made worse by illnesses if you already deal with depression as I did and many others do.

I couldn't have got through my depression without my Dr. councelling me and although I feel like I am at a better place, there are times I still call him up for help with my depression. Some people can't get through it alone. It depends on how deep you are in it. I use to describe it to my Dr. as being at the bottom of a well and I couldn't pull myself up with the rope and there were times I couldn't hold on to that rope any longer. He told me many a time that if I held on, he'd pull me out. I was very suicidal for years and still think that way at times.

Lordwood has delt with this for quite sometimes. He hasn't been here in a long time and I send him emails and hope he is doing ok. He has been through a lot and to find Drs. that will not help you is devastating. You get your hopes up and then it falls through.

As far as Dr. Swartzman, I have met several people that have went to see him and their visits weren't what they had hoped either. It goes both ways with Drs. Some like them, some don't.

You can't take RSD out of the equation either since there is no cure for it. People do go into remission but it can come back in places or completely.

Depression doesn't go away either because you have people telling you they love you all of the time either. I have that, and it didn't matter that they were saying it. To me, depression, is like being a shell of a person with no feelings inside of them. No good, bad, funny, sad, love, hate, you'e just there.

I have heard that line, everything happens for a reason. After what I have been through, I kept asking God what that reason was. I'm sure others do the same. I sure haven't learned it yet. I'm ok with where I am today but it took 22 years to get to that place. Actually 58 if you count I was born with depression.

We are all at a different place in this journey and a lot are just starting it so we have to let them set their own paces at getting better. We sure can't just be talked into it overnight and since there is no cure for the RSD and really no definate ways to help get it into remission or better then we are all pretty much walking not running through this journey.

Ada