Dear Ada,

I have also had periodic bouts with depression throughout my entire life. Not sure why. I married a terrific man close to 25 years ago and we are still very close. My kids are really decent kids. I think I might be like you, perhaps we were just born with some chemicals that need tweaking.

I am fortunate in that I am extremely strong willed and determined, very disciplined, and remain high functioning in spite of my RSD - my legs and feet still work but I walk many miles a day and there was a period of time last year when walking those miles was excrutiatingly painful. After 4 Lidocaine infusions my right leg is much better, but it does have RSD.

Like you, the black hole of depression beckons at times. And since taking my leave of absence from my job early last summer I have spent countless hours with tears just dripping off my face. Go figure - how many people would have relaxed and enjoyed a summer off in the "Ocean State?" Instead, I cried and cried. And continue to do so on almost a daily basis. Reducing my Fentanyl did help a little, when I was one level up from the patch I am currently on I could not talk to anyone from my family on the phone (they all live far away) without completely breaking down. It was totally unnerving (for them too, I'm sure).

Thanks so much for your candidness on this subject. It helps to know that there are others like me.

I am working hard on learning the mindfulness based stress reduction program to reduce my pain. There is a good book called the Mindfulness Solution to Pain by Dr. Jackie Gardner-Nix. I bought it on Amazon for about $13 or so, it was worth it.

Thanks again, XOXOX Sandy