Hi-CC, I know this situation is "sucky" for you all around. I hope that the little bit of letting go of the desperation of feeling helpless is actually helping reduce the negative impact on your body. Even if only reduced a few degrees at a time, the body does much healing when we give ourselves a break from the stories we tell ourselves. I think you are managing as well as you can with the few resources you have. I hope the folks here help you feel less alone. I know they have helped me. And it helps me to reach out to you and say that "you matter, you will get through this and it will change".... Wishing you the Best possible outcome TT