Hello all

I just thought I'd post something. I'm feeling really lonely tonight.

Remember that one friend I used to have? You know... the only one I've ever had? Well, she called up my roommate today and invited her over to hang out. She hasn't even talked to me in a few months, but over that time she'a hung out with my roommate a few times. She always says she's too busy to see me, yet she always finds time for all of her other friends, the ones who aren't depressing, the ones who matter...

She clearly doesn't want to be around me, although she'll never admit it. I actually feel bad when I try to call her, like I'm forcing her to interact with someone she's trying to cut out of her life.... sigh. I should probably stop trying to fit in with any other person, and just accept that I'm going to die alone, as an outcast.

I'm just so tired of life. I don't have the energy or the desire to try anymore. I just want to lie here in my bed, left alone, until I die. I wish God would take the desease of some sick child out there and give it to me instead, at least then my life would be worth something, if only to suffer so someone else doesn't have to. Why can't God take my life and give it to someone who wants it?

I don't know why I posted this on this thread, this is no new beginning, this is the same as I've always been, the same as I always will be.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and listining, and caring....