I used to decorate, and spruce up, and the house was filled with laughter, children, relative, and song. it was sparkling clean, and so merry and bright. The tree was stuffed with presents, both under, and upon it. now...its not gonna happen. I dont have the strength, the energy, the time, or the desire to work myself silly. The children are grown with lives of their own. We go visit relatives that have small ones in the house, and are happy with that. There is no work to put it all up, and no work to get it all back down, and into the boxes. I donated it to the homeless shelter, and they use the stuff every year.

I miss those days. I miss that laughter, and the anticipation of the kids waiting to see if santa got that bike or that doll for them. The giggles and the smiles. I am at the in between stage. The kids are grown, but no babies of their own. They have committed partners, but are busy with careers and not worried about babies coming home yet.

Till then, I am just gonna try to enjoy the quiet time of reflection.