One can never compare ones own ability to withstand pain to another's , or what one person can endure in life to another person's ability - we are all different human beings on this earth - that is what makes us unique.
We are all born with different genes for tolerating pain and different life experience to draw from when confronting life's new experiences.
I would never judge another person until I walk a mile in their shoes( and since that will never happen I will not) nor will I claim that my experience is the one that they should choose.....
Having said all that gobbledygook
Allen for now ....BE strong and do whatever is right for you !!!!!!!!!!!!
I do hope that you find a great doctor and that you and he/she can come up with a game plan that is right for your future.

If I recall you have not been doing well of late .
Cold turkey cannot be the reccomended course of treatment for a patient with a weakened system.That is just not kosher in my book.
Hang in there .

Much peace and I hope you find that doc fast!!!!!!!

GnP